When good pregnancies go bad

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My pregnancy has been mostly the sunshine and rainbows kind of pregnancy. Not really any kind of sickness, basically perfect weight gain, no stretch marks so far. Great. Only typically one bathroom break in the middle of the night. Just one. 

But tonight? I'm almost ready to start Googling ways to speed this thing up. Baby girl is still hanging out with her feet pointing down so maybe if I eat some curry with pineapple for dessert then have sex and go for a walk then blow up balloons when I get back, I could have the doctor cutting her out of me after my appointment tomorrow afternoon. It could happen. (Eating pineapple and blowing up balloons? Seriously?)

I ate two hot dogs about 15 minutes ago, and now when I should be feeling that full, happy feeling, my stomach is growling more than it was before the hot dogs. I just finished shoveling in a cookie for dessert and now I'm ready to get up and get myself a bowl of cereal. Just make the hunger stop already! 

And usually my bathroom breaks are nothing to complain about. Well I'm pretty sure I've used the bathroom 6 times in the past hour, and I haven't even really drank anything. 

My body - from my lower back to my feet - is so stiff that getting up isn't just getting up. It takes time, thought, planning. I reach around for my cane for a minute before I remember I'm not 85 years old and weighing 400lbs, I'm just pregnant. I can get up on my own. 

I've sat in my chair and stared at my cup of water, just out of my reach, giving it my best Harry Potter stare but it just wont levitate and move the few inches into my hands. 

My knees don't really bend anymore. Not like they're supposed to, anyway. To reach something that's somewhere near ground level, I have to bend my body in half and reach. I can bend over and put my hands on the freaking floor with this belly in my way but for some reason I can't crouch down without feeling like my knees and ankles can't possibly straighten themselves out. 

And you know what I miss? Rolling over. I miss rolling over in the middle of the night without having to completely wake up, sit up and then roll over. I can try rolling, but it just seems to throw my entire body out of whack and I need to sit up to adjust anyway. 

So tonight, pregnancy is not my friend. 

I'm not on bed rest, but if I was it would kill me

At 34 weeks, I finally feel really pregnant. 

I'll save the gruesome details for my pregnancy update in a few days but  basically I waddle, my swollen feet force me to lay down several times a day, I wake up at 11am but still take a nap around noon because I feel that tired, and add on to that a new toothache. 

I'm going a bit crazy. 

Laying in bed drives me crazy. I've watch so many episodes of The OC this week that I'm soon going to start thinking I'm one of the characters or something. Theresa, maybe, since I'm at the end of season one where she finds out she's pregnant. I am so bored with laying in bed watching tv. 

I can sit at my desk and work on projects and such for a little while, but then even just sitting down my feet start to feel so huge that it eventually gets too uncomfortable to even sit up. 

I should really drag my computer to bed with me so I have a little more to do. I don't really blog anymore, I just check in once a day to see if of my favorite blogs have updated and especially to see how baby Emily is doing, but I don't stay on long. 

I did a photo shoot while I was staying with my grandfather last weekend and I still haven't even begun to edit those photos so I can show them to the family. 

I feel behind. I feel uncomfortable. And I feel incredibly bored. 

I don't enjoy being forced to lay in bed for much of the day, but since the alternative is being at work, I guess I'll take it. 

I have about 6 weeks left, as long as I don't go crazy before then. 

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If only the view from my bed was a little more like this. 

The Day Venassa got Knocked Up

I'm sure you know how that works, so I'll spare you the details.

But I will share with you the details of how Paper Venassa got impregnated.

If you don't know, this is Paper Venassa.

If you're confused, read about where Paper Venassa came from, or click here to see all of her recorded adventures so far. She's been to New York, The Philippines, Ireland, and Ontario, and so many other adventures that I haven't talked about yet. 

On Easter Sunday 2011, we decided Paper Venassa should get caught up on real life. I am pregnant, therefore she should be too. 

Me,boyfriend, and  Scott each took a try at drawing the embryo we would attach to Paper Venassa. These are our drawings, in that order. Scott's koala bear embryo at the end did not win. 

There was a family vote done by Scott's siblings and siblings-in-law, and boyfriend's embryo won, so we attached it to Paper Venassa. 

And ta-da! The job is done, Paper Venassa looks great and up-to-date, so we took some family photos. 

And that, my friends, is how Paper Venassa got knocked up on Easter Sunday 2011. At this time, real Venassa was approximately 18 weeks pregnant.