Tuesday, December 20, 2011

10 of my Secrets


Ten Secrets

{ 1 } I recently rejoined the online dating world. I've come to realize that most of the people on there are insanely boring. If the conversation gets dry after two messages, obviously it's not going to work out. 

{ 2 } Sometimes when the baby is asleep, I know I should be tidying up, making her bottles, or even feeding my growling stomach, but I just can't get myself to get up. Some days even the coffee can't get me motivated. But hey, her bottles get done before she needs them and I get fed before I start to fade away. It all works out in the end.

{ 3 } My daughter makes me smile, makes me laugh. When she takes a long nap I'm usually excited when she wakes up because I missed holding her. Sometimes her cries are even adorable to me. I would rather be with her than with anyone in the world. With that being said, I can't stand people who look at taking care of their child as a job. One day she won't need to be taken care of, I'll have all the free time I need, and I'll miss it like crazy. With that being said, sometimes I literally cringe when I think she's waking up.

{ 4 } I feel guilty. There are a few people in my life who have done so much for me with no demands in return, no questions asked. I don't feel like I'll ever be able to make it up to them.

{ 5 } I also feel guilty about the amount of time I spend on the computer, versus doing other things in life. I plan to change that very soon.

{ 6 } I overwhelm myself at times with my obsessive need to documents things, especially in photograph form. I worry that there's not enough nice pictures of Chloe, not enough pictures of me and her, no pictures of her with friends and family. I am not happy that I couldn't take her two month photos on her two-month mark, because I didn't have the battery charger for my SLR.

{ 7 } I kind of believe that I won't ever find the person I'm supposed to be with. It's always going to be a mixture of me liking someone who doesn't feel the same, or someone liking me when I don't really feel the same. There's never going to be that happy, perfect middle ground.

{ 8 } I hate living in a basement apartment where the windows are too wide for my curtains. Sometimes I just like to walk around in my bra.

{ 9 } I don't know what I want to do with my life. A few different times, I thought I did but then changed my mind. I want a career and so far I don't think I've found it. Since I'm 24 now, it makes me pretty sad to still not really have a dream. 

{ 10 } I worry a lot about how I'm going to survive when I go back to work at the end of my year off. I hate the idea of putting Chloe in day care, and I'm a little stressed because I should be looking for a day care already - they're hard to get into. 



* I found this at Life with the D's.

6 comments:

SG to SP said...

Good luck with online dating, that's how I met my husband. Took a while but it can work!

Shell said...

#7- it's possible- it just takes time! Hang in there!

Baby Sister said...

How clever. I can totally agree with #9. All I know is I want it to involve computers. And that's about as far as it gets. Hopefully we'll both find out soon. Good look with the online dating bit. Hopefully it will pay off soon too. :)

Chelle said...

#3-I couldn't agree more! I cringe thinking of my girls no longer needing me for everything. And then some days? I wish that I could have 30 more minutes to myself...

a. said...

that is cool, I may steal it :) I know of a few online dating success stories, I would just try to filter out the bad ones.

An Irish Italian Blessing said...

Oh girl you got a lot of secrets :) I don't think I could even think of more than 2, lol. Hang in there, you'll find someone that's perfect and just for you. My friend did online dating and he's now a Daddy and engaged to his soul mate :)

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