Thursday, March 10, 2011

So small

Yesterday, the day started with a bang. Literally - as I crashed to the ground, landing partly on my ass and somewhat on my back. I thought I would definitely feel the pain later, but I guess my hand took most of the fall - I feel it in my arm when I move it certain ways and do I ever feel it in the palm of my hand where it's pretty scratched up. 

Winter and ice? I've been over it for awhile. Snow is only cool around Christmas time. And when you're a kid. Right now neither of those apply, and I am sick of it. So sick of it that it literally hurts - at least today. 

Besides that, the day had been a good one. 

Yet it's shortly after a midnight - a new day - and I'm about to go to sleep sad. 

Life is kind of strange.

Some of the people in mine have their priorities completely mixed up. 

That saying "You don't know what you got til it's gone" is a funny one. I've heard it lately. Funny, because if some people stopped being so self-absorbed, they might realize a bit sooner. Even funnier, because some do realize, but it's still not enough to make a difference until it's too late. 

Some days I wish I could just escape and hide from it all. But then again, most of the time I feel hidden without having to go anywhere at all. 

There's always one constant good thing in my life. It comes in the form of a three year old who would kiss me goodbye a few nights ago, but wouldn't give me a hug because - I quote: "I don't like you". The kiss, and the big smile on his face when I first saw him were enough to tell me otherwise. It's comforting to realize that at least a three year old realizes that actions speak louder than words. 

If only he could pass along that memo. 

"It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big, at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole
While you're sittin round thinking about what you can't change
And worryin' about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count, cause you can't get it back
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
What you've been out there searchin for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small"
So Small - Carrie Underwood

Things always feel better in the morning.


Jayme said...

Feel better soon- physically and emotionally ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

Sorry you are feeling down. I was pretty depressed during the first trimester and I know the feeling of wanting to escape all too well. Things will get better over time, keep your chin up you have a little one that needs you :)

a. said...

things do seem better in the morning for some reason, I'm hoping thats the case as well.
Little things and actions always shadow words.

Baby Sister said...

:( I hope you're doing better!!



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