Saturday, January 9, 2010

My inner optimist is on vacation

I'm sad. No, I don't want to get into details. Things were said, stuff was done and couches were slept on. I hate fighting with anyone over anything. Unless it's mother or Courtney, that's easy. But usually, as mad as I get, I still have the feeling that everything will be okay in the end. Not anymore. It's just getting harder and harder to believe that everything is going to be fine. Still, it always is, but the in between part is killing me. The thinking about it afterward is driving me crazy. I just want some semblance of normal in my life for longer periods of time. I won't get my hopes up though.

I'm just looking forward to seeing my nephew's happy face. Maybe tomorrow, if not, definitely the day after. Which is also the little boy's 2nd birthday. He needs to stop growing up so fast like right now.

Blah. I can't concentrate on this right now. I just want my happiness back.

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