Birthdays, and other stuff

Did you know that tomorrow is the first of October? That means the countdown is on until my birthday.


I like to pretend that I don't get all excited for birthdays, especially mine, and I wish that were true. But some little part of me always seems to get excited. 

I'd like for the birthday to just arrive, with no excitement and no expecatations. Because what happens then is you don't get the phone call from the person you want to hear from the most. Or you don't get the thing you wanted the most, but your sister gets it for Christmas.

This wasn't supposed to be about my birthday at all.

This wasn't supposed to be about anything at all.

Did you know that it is very easy to mess up Hamburger Helper if it calls for milk when you have no milk. It was the cheesiest gag-inducing meal I've ever had.

I feel a little lost and don't know how to get myself back.

I think I might go on a $1.50 stamp shopping spree at Michael's tomorrow to regain my joy back. Frankly that's the only kind of shopping spree I can afford. Leave it to me to put off paying bills until they're all due at once.

But to give myself some credit.. I was thinking yesterday about how it wasn't that long ago that I always needed to get money from my grandfather (aka my father figure) to pay my rent because I never had enough. And now not only do I pay everything myself, I've taken on a loan payment and still usually have enough money leftover to be comfortable. Compare me to two years ago and I am doing freaking amazing.

I got started on part of mother's Christmas present last night. I'm typing up her 'recipe book', which right now is a really old notebook with handwritten or cut-out recipes taped in. It's completely full, unorganized, and even had new recipes tucked in, that fall out if you're not careful picking it up. It's a mess, so I'm making her an organized one. She doesn't know it.

Please make this night go by fast.