Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Single-Girl Diaries

Okay, so I'm not 100% single, I'm more in one of those 'it's complicated' relationship statuses. In other words, I'm single but not looking. After recent events, I would much rather shoot myself in the foot than be single and looking.

One of these bad experiences could only be brought on to an outing at the bar.

Once upon a time, in 2006, I turned 19. I had my first few trips to a bar. The good ol Rockin Rodeo in Fredericton, to be more specific. It was awkward and strange. I danced with a guy or two, but had great times with my friends.

Things have changed. The bar is not a place to have fun anymore. The bar is a place for singles only. It's so packed they just can't spare the space for someone who is committed, and not in heat. Usually, I will wear a pair of jeans to the bar, nothing serious. But did you know that if you are wearing underwear while at a bar, you are overdressed? Me going in jeans is the equivalent to going there in snow pants and winter boots.

The bar is filled with females wearing their best 'grind-me-from-behind' shirts dresses, and the guys all go around with their eyes bulging out of their heads with their arms permanently outstretched just trying to grope everything that walks by. No, you don't go to the bar to dance and have fun anymore. You go to pick up or to get picked up.

Situation #1 - Dancing with friend, creepy guys leaning against the bar try to pull us towards them.
Guy 1: My friend is a really great guy, you should give him a chance.
Guy 2: *takes my hands and kisses it* Blah blah blah... I have a really nice place... Blah blah blah... We can go for a walk to so-and-so in the morning.
Myself: Grabbing at friend, trying to cause her mild pain so she will get the hint and save me

Situation #2
That horrible uncomfortable feeling of dancing ass-to-ass or side-to-side with the girl in the barely-there dress, and the guy who's crotch is glued to her behind. Back away from me, please.

Situation #3
That guy who dances his way into our circle, all the while keeping his eyes on all the other girls so he can suddenly dance his way into their hotter-girl circle. 

Situation #4
The guy my friend went on a couple of dates with and it didn't work out, but she said hi to at the bar. Then he attached himself to her from behind until we made an excuse to get away.

Am I getting so old that I want to create a bar where you can go to have fun, and not dodge creepy guys and their plans for 'the morning after'. At least pretend to have a fraction of a conversation with me first.


magnolia said...

this is one of my biggest complaints about social life these days. i want to go to a bar, sit on a porch, drink and talk to my friends. i don't want it to be deafeningly loud, or full of sketchballs. apparently, this is too much to ask.

Sara said...

omg. the thought of these things makes me want to puke. i went out with some friends last summer and I'm the only one who's married. not one person would even speak to me because i had a ring on my finger. they were too busy picking up my friends. so i just stood there like an idiot.



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