The Things I Don't Blog About

I thought updating my blog look a little bit would me start writing more. Still, I stared at the blank screen for quite some time, and still don't know what to talk about. I miss documenting my life, both in photos and in here. I feel like I could say that life just isn't exciting enough to write about, but that isn't really the case. My life is much more exciting now than it was back when I blogged full-time. I am so happy. But why is there never anything to write about? 

Because I suppose it's not 'post-worthy' to write about how much I love waking up in the morning to the sounds of my baby girl talking to herself over the baby monitor. 

Or how great it is to get her out of her crib and being her to bed with me so we can lay together for a little while before starting out day. 

Or how much I loved this weekend, when I was finally able to spend an entire 24+ hours with boyfriend, without him having to leave. 

Or how much I look forward to my morning cup(s) of coffee each day. 

Or how much I love that the sun is finally coming out, and me and Chloe have been able to get outside. 

Or how adorable it is to watch Chloe and my boyfriend's 15-month old daughter babble their baby nonsense to each other. 

Or how nice it is to have my brother visit all the time, even if it is just to use me for my computer and internet. 

Or how great it is have been able to spend so much time with friends lately. 

Or how there are still a bunch of blue balloons scattered around my living room from boyfriend's birthday this past weekend. Or how much I wish there was still ice cream cake leftover. 

Or how I finally have free time to do things I used to love - like puzzles, and scrapbooking.

No, I couldn't really come up with much of a post on any of these one things. But that's my life lately. While it's not all sunshine and rainbows, I've been pretty damn happy lately. 

Things I'm Happy About

• It's Friday. Who doesn't love Friday? Especially when you have the rest of the weekend off. Oops, let me correct myself. I have the rest of the year off. Yay, maternity leave
• It's payday
• I get to visit my Mom and family this weekend
• Depending on the weather, I get to do a photo shoot for my friend and her sisters
• We're officially into September - my baby's birth month : )
• I'm buying my first (super cheap - $5) Christmas present for someone today. Yay for planning ahead
• I should finally have tons of free time, being done work, and can finish all my DIY project for the baby's room, hopefully before she makes her appearance
• I'm finally figuring our Pinterest :p

What are you happy about? 

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If the world did end, I would have no regrets

I don't usually post on Saturdays but that's because, well, no one else does and I'm all about jumping on bandwagons. Or not. But today is a special day. How? I don't want to explain it when Boobies, Babies and a Blog explains it so nicely.

To sum up, the world is/was supposed to end today. Jesus was supposed to come for us. Now I'm not religious at all but I do believe in God, but I really don't believe in this stuff. If the world's going to end, it's going to be because of some natural disaster or something. Not because of Jesus.

I hadn't even really heard of the world ending until recently. It must've been new news. I've heard all about it ending in 2012.

If the world really ended today I would be so mad that I went to work. What a waste of time. And that I went to bed last night. I would also die pretty unhappy never getting to meet my baby.

But when I really think about it, I wouldn't have any major regrets if I died today.

Maybe I haven't travelled anywhere exciting like the Bahamas or Paris or Disney World.

I haven't done anything risky like sky diving or bungee jumping or even scuba diving.

I haven't had a lot of money to be able to do a ton of fun things.

I haven't been married.

I haven't had any children.

I haven't learned how to cook a turkey dinner without help.

I don't have a ton of friends.

I spend my free days lazing around the house.

But I did get to travel on a plane once.

I've felt the excitement of a ferris wheel.

I spent my money on things I love.

I've fallen in love.

I've felt a baby kicking in my stomach.

I swam in the ocean and made forts in the woods.

I have a couple of the most supportive, amazing friends anyone could ask for.

I've had many nights where I laughed until I cried.

I've seen an old man's face light up when I walked into the room.

I do what I love with my time, not what I feel like I should do.



[ All images via weheartit ]

And I am more than happy with all of that.

This is What I've Learned

I think something needs to be said. I don't mention ever enough how much I adore you guys. The ones that read day after day. The ones who will reply to a comment I left on their blog, asking me about something in my life. The new readers, the old readers. The lurkers that don't comment? I love you all. I just thought that needed to be said. While I'm on that topic.. if you're a new reader and I've never been to your blog before, I meant to. So give me your link so I can do that. 

On an opposite note, there has been some stress, worry, and family drama going on lately. What I've learned? 

Some people never change. Sneaky people will be sneaky. If you have a strange feeling about someone's intentions, chances are you're right to feel that way. Let things happen that you can't control. Get angry, but get over it. If you have to, fight for what you want. 

Student loan people? They don't care if you filled out their form a couple of days after your closest relative had a stroke. They also don't care that your mailing address is no longer valid, because it belonged to the person who had the stoke, and they have new living arrangements. They only care about their money. Is it nothing for them to wait 5 days after getting their mail returned to sender before they let you know. They don't care that the application would expire two days after they called. Their sole purpose in life is to stress me the ^&*@ out. 

Money isn't everything, but it sure seems like it when you don't have any. Money can't buy happiness? Maybe not, but it can buy food. And I'm pretty darn unhappy without food. I'm sure it would also create happiness in my cell phone and cable provider, as they would finally get what they're owed. 

I live in a province where working in winter can be difficult. When Christmas is over? Work places are left with more employees than available hours. Or at least that's the case with both of my jobs. I'm available to work, they just don't really need me. 

Another thing? I've learned to watch what you do with money when you have it. The only person who worries about me - is me. When I feel like I'm drowning in debt, no one feels that panic but me. 

I've learned that it's really hard to do something special for someone, when they don't do the same for you. Broken hearts can come in the form of broken promises. The more promises you make and break, the more it hurts. Hurting people kills me inside, but sometimes you need to know how it feels. Little things mean a lot and can go a long way. So can disappointment. 

Forgive and forget. It will never be that simple. 

I've learned that it's easier to be happy, when you let yourself be unhappy for awhile. Happy can sneak up on you when you had no idea it was coming. Enjoy it. You never know what can happen tomorrow. 

Today, I feel...

Also, I love this post about things 'A Woman Should..'

Happy Quotes

I always wanted to be one of those people who just loved life, and always seemed to be cheerful. That was never me. I'll admit it, I focus on the negative way too much. I'm trying to get myself away from the way of thinking. It's time to stop worrying about stuff that I don't need to be worrying about. It's time to be more positive.

So here is sort of a little pep talk, in the form of quotes and sayings I've collected over time. Please, feel free to share your own favorites :)

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“Are we going to be friends forever?" Asked Piglet.

"Even longer", Pooh answered

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. -Mark Twain

Happiness is a direction, not a place. -Sydney J. Harris

A pessimist sees only the dark side of clouds and mopes;

A philosopher sees both sides and shrugs;

An optimist doesn't see the clouds at all - he's walking on them.

Everyone has someone in their life that keeps them looking forward to another day.

Don't live in the past, its over & you can't change it.

Don't worry about the future, it hasn't happened yet.

Live in the moment, do what you want, and live your life.

Life is only beautiful if you make it beautiful.

Happiness will never come to those who don't appreciate what they already have.

The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.

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PS. Has anyone been watching Regis and Kelly? The current Canadian episodes filmed a block away from my apartment? How nice for our island to get so much publicity.

I'm taping them all on the DVR, but haven't watched much yet. I'm not a big fan of these types of shows normally but I can't wait to get watching them.

Changes

I've been trying not to doing a lot of thinking lately. Maybe not thinking, exactly, but feeling. Or both.

See, that's why I try not to think. I start to not make sense.

A little word association game, maybe?

Alone ..... sadness, depression, panic, freedom
Freedom ..... happiness, changes
Changes ..... sadness, happiness, confusion, hope
Moving ..... sadness, inconvenient, difficult, easy,


There are so many big changes in my life, either happening now or in the next few months.


I'm starting to learn that you can't force yourself to be happy. All you can do is just do what makes you happy. If something doesn't, try to change it. There's not always a way to know if you're making the right decision, so you have to do what feels right for you at the time. Live with the consequences.


If I have to try so hard at being happy, maybe I'm just not doing it right.

For the first time in 14 months, I am truly alone. It was my decision. Does it make me happy? Not particularly, at the moment. It does make me feel better.


It also makes me feel a bit scared. Scared of being alone in general, scared of losing someone who means so much to me, scared I will regret it someday.

But I also feel hopeful. Like this is something I need to do. I need this time alone for myself. Maybe I'll find happiness down the road with someone else, maybe I'll find I was supposed to be happy with the one I left, or maybe I'm doomed to be alone. Really, who knows?

The only thing I know for sure, is that something wasn't right, and I tried what I could. I couldn't try any more.

This is a new beginning for me. I'm starting fresh, on my own, and it's hard, but it's something I feel I need to do. I think I need to work better at being happier on my own, with myself, before I can truly be happy with someone else.

But hey, at least I got to experience being in love. Something everyone should experience at least once in a lifetime. So I must be doing something right, even if it is hard right now.


This post was inspired by Summer, where I stole the picture.

Here's to being strong, enjoying life more, and finding happiness.

What made me happy today

things that made me happy today

• cadbury creme eggs (at 50% off)
• taking a break from capital letters
• really helpful bank tellers
• some alone time, it's been weeks
• peggle, the new game we downloaded on the ps3
• home-made hot turkey sandwiches
• a couple new followers! i promise to return the favor
  
• my new amazingly comfy deck chair

i just can't wait to lay back on it in the sun. read a book or a magazine. sip a fruity drink, maybe something made in a blender. it just sounds like perfection to me.

what's your idea of a perfect summer day? and what made you happy today?

Summertime has got me happy

After working so little the past two weeks, I'm dreading getting back into the working swing of things. I only have 48 hours this week, which actually makes it a pretty easy week for me, except my only day off this week was yesterday. Boo.

I went into the bookstore today to spend the rest of my $25 gift card. After looking around for about 20 minutes there were probably at least 10 books I really want. I saved a couple of authors names into my phone so I don't forget them. I basically want to own and read all books. I'm just having the hardest time getting through the book I'm reading now (Black Rose - Nora Roberts) even though she's one of my favorites. And it's the second on a trilogy. So the third book might have to wait. I want to get into more exciting things. Books that make me laugh out loud and never want to stop reading. Those are the books that add a bit more happy to life.

Speaking of happy, I've managed to get myself so excited about summer. I just can't stop thinking about the beach, the swings, summer clothes, the sunshine. Even all the snow melting in the spring (because today was a sunny, snow-go-slush day) has got me excited. Since I'm not the most optimistic, happy person, I'm glad to feel it. I just want to look at all things happy and summery. So I'll post them here.

Summer <3